1. You get engaged and therefore you should know all of your wedding details.
You know how it goes when you get engaged. The questions immediately start firing your way: When are you getting married? Where’s your venue? How many people will you have? Are you going to invite Aunt Linda? What does your dress look like?
Without getting into too much detail, I know the response you want to tell people. Yet, instead you politely let them know you have three upcoming venue visits and mumble about next autumn when it’s a little cooler and the colours are changing. Let’s be honest, the truth is you don’t know. And guess what... that’s okay!
Getting engaged is such a fun and exciting time for you and your partner. I always urge my clients to enjoy every moment of this time. Love each other a little stronger, celebrate with family and friends, and take time to really just enjoy each other. Once you have chatted with your partner about important must-haves for your wedding day, you can start saving inspiration photos. If you decide to have a wedding planner, this will help kickstart your planning process and will give you a strong idea of your vision right from the start.
2. You should feel obligated to give wedding favours.
I know that some of your guests have travelled a long distance to see you, or maybe you haven’t connected with them in a while. Whatever the case, they are there to see you and your partner. They are there to celebrate and to soak up all the loving energy that a wedding emanates, so don’t feel like you have to give your guests a gift for coming. Believe it or not, wedding favours can become quite expensive. Even if you’re thinking, “well, it’s just a little something...” your guests are there to enjoy the experience.
If you want to splurge a little, there’s lots of other aspects that will resonate more with your guests. If your friends and family love coffee, why not rent a coffee stand as a special post-dessert treat. Or if you’re having a summer wedding, you could order alcoholic popsicles for your guests to enjoy after the ceremony. You could make a delicious toasting drink with cotton candy, spend a little extra on more appetizers or upgrade the table wine. Remember, your guests are going to look back on the experience itself. They won't be upset if they didn’t get jellybeans for the ride home!
3. Bridesmaids should wear matching dresses.
Not all bridesmaid dresses are created equal, just like the bodies that are going to be wearing them. You don’t need to have your bridesmaids all wear the same dress. Not only are mismatch dresses trending right now, they give your bridesmaids the freedom to find a dress they feel comfortable wearing. It will also give them the chance to be in control of the amount they spend on the dress, and they'll be more inclined to reuse it for future events.
You may be able to find a particular dress that is flattering to all body types, in which case you could reach out to your ladies and ask if they like it. You could also try giving a colour palette and allowing your ladies to find dresses that fit within those shades. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how amazing this looks in your wedding photos.
4. You need to invite (insert name of distant second cousin half removed here).
First off, it’s your wedding day so you are in charge of who to invite. You shouldn't feel like you have to invite everyone. Weddings can add up really quickly, especially when you have to feed everyone! I have a few tips on how to make sure you are inviting guests that YOU want to invite:
- Figure out your ‘reasonable budget list’ (this is the maximum number of guests you can invite to stay within your budget).
- Make rules before you start inviting guests...
- Are you going to have kids at your wedding?
- Are you allowing everyone to have a +1 or does the guest have to be living with that person?
- Are you both inviting work friends?
- If you haven't connected with them in the last 3-5 years, should they really be there?
- Don’t let others influence your guest list decisions - stay strong & stick to the list you created.
- Once you send out your list, try to avoid adding to the list.
- Invite who YOU want, not who other people want to connect with on your day.
5. You need to have a registry.
Times have changed and although registries can be fun (who doesn’t love filling up a digital cart and pretending like it’s all yours), items can be quite pricey on registries. Unless you have just moved into a new home and you really need new items, it’s okay to say that you are not having a registry and that monetary gifts are appreciated. Or try changing the game of wedding gifts completely and ask guests to help fund your dream honeymoon through different excursions or adventures you want to go on. It would be pretty great to receive a card that says, “Thank you for contributing to our surf lessons in Hawaii.”
There is no book on the exact way you should have a wedding. Okay, well… there are actually lots of books and they are very outdated. Rules are meant to be broken and your wedding should reflect you and your partner’s personality. Don’t get caught up in what you should do, decide on what you want to do. Shake it up and have fun doing it. Write your own story and if you need help putting your dream day together, I would love to be a part of it.